How-To: Write a Balling Essay For Sure

Say "hello" to 14 pages of GREATNESS.

Finishing off my third year of university, I like to think that I know what's what when it comes to writing essays, and I've always wanted to start doing some 'Guide to Life' type of posts on this blog, so I thought now would be a great time!

Here are a few of my best tips for how to write an essay that you're proud of. These are just a few things that work for me personally, but who knows- maybe they'll work for you, too! I'm leaving out most of the obvious tricks, like reading it out loud to make sure it flows, and framing your quotations properly.  These are some things that I either know a lot of people don't do, or that I think should be appreciated more.

TIP #1: ON PICKING A TOPIC...
This is the only one of my tips that really depends on your situation. You don't always get to pick your topic, and the worst essays are always going to be the one's that give you no freedom to create. Even a strict outline can be killer when it comes to figuring out what you want to write about.

But, sometimes you get a wonderful class, and all you have to do is write an essay. Cherish these moments, and don't squander them! Don't just pick any old topic, really think about it! I usually sit myself down and have a serious brainstorming session. Generally I've found the perfect topic to be something that you know just enough about to know that you're interested in learning more. Avoid topics that you've done before. It may seem easier but it's going to feel like you're writing the same essay as the last time, and unless that's what you're going for, the repetition is going to kill you creatively. It's the discovery of new information and new points of view inspiring your own ideas that make essay writing fun. No, I'm serious. Essays can be fun. Say it with me. They can!

And obviously, don't worry about specificity. General topics are the best topics. Start with one theme of one book and see what small aspect you want to focus on later. Even when classes make you hand in a proposal, remember that those aren't contracts, things will change once you start writing.

TIP #2: ON TAKING NOTES...
The more you read, the better your essay will be. Again, this goes without saying. But I do have a few tips on how to make the transition from research to fabulous essay as smooth and possible.

Make sure that whatever you read- you're taking notes on it. Not only does this help when it comes time to referencing and figuring out where these ideas came from, but your essay is going to be born from your research notes. When I say that, I mean two things. First, if you write six pages of research, then that's effectively six pages of your essay already written, and you haven't even started it yet. Second, and my most important trick, is to write down and explain everything. Don't just take notes about what the author is saying in the article, write down what you think. Interpret. Criticize. Relate it to the work your studying right there in the notes. This is where your notes become your essay, and this is where those interesting ideas are forming in your head. Write down every thought process exactly where it happened, and under what article.

If you're feeling brave, multi-task with Elementary! I'm sure you'll get TONS of work done! I know I did!

TIP #3: ON 'DAT THESIS...
Is a continuation of TIP #2, because that's where it happens. When you're reading an article and the author says something that sparks an idea that you fall in love with. That's the golden moment, my friends. You've found your essay. Try not to worry too much about how everything is going to fit into your thesis. If you're worried about going off track then continue and adjust your thesis to match the new direction you've taken. Like the proposal, a thesis is not a promise, it's an idea. Ain't nobody holding you to it. Once you've got all your research in front of you arrange it until it looks like that great idea you had in your head, then boom. Essay.



TIP #4: ON STYLIN'...
Never underestimate the importance of style! Writing style, that is. Not only do a lot of professors (yes, outside of English) include some aspect of writing style or clarity (not to mention grammar) in their marking scheme, but bullshit inherently looks more valuable when you add a little flair. Now, I said I was going to leave out the most obvious tips, but one of the more off-kilter ways I ensure a certain quality of writing is by always making full use of the 'Ctrl + F' function. One of the easiest ways (aside from grammar) to distract from an otherwise great essay is repetition. If you know you've been using a word or a term way too much then use Ctrl + F to find out exactly where and rephrase a few of your sentences.

Also use Ctrl + F as an instant fix for your bad writing habits. We all have them. If you always use the wrong form of 'there', then use  Ctrl + F to find every single 'there', 'their' and 'they're' and make sure that they are used correctly! I use this for contractions. I'm inescapably informal in my writing, especially when it comes to contractions. It makes it easier for me to get my thoughts out and that makes my writing much clearer. But, obviously contractions are not appropriate for an academic essay, so before I hand anything in I do a quick 'Ctrl + F' for apostrophes just in case. For science reports I'll sometimes use that to find any uses of 'we' or 'our' as well. The little things count!

TIP #5: ON CUTTING-IT-CLOSE...
Always finish your essays early and give yourself at least a day to read things over and make the final edits that will take your writing from good to remarkably clear. Hello, 90. Up until this exact moment in front of your computer screen, you have not had the time or the willpower to do a single fucking thing on your essay. It might be due tomorrow. It might be due in a few hours. Either way, despite following all of my above tips, you've reached crunch time, your writing method needs to change a little.

First things first, format your entire essay (whatever you may have written) so that it is good to hand in. Make your title pages, format your text, add in those page numbers. Also make your 'Works Cited' page and put in all of your references, even the ones that you haven't used yet. If you haven't done this already it gives you a huge confidence boost to be looking at something that actually looks like a final product, even if it's only three pages of rough notes. It also makes the essay "ready to hand in" even if its still shit on a page. So if you're literally working with two hours left before the deadline, you can keep writing for as long as possible and know that at least you won't be losing any marks for incorrect formatting. It sounds kinda desperate, but at this point that is exactly what you are, so... deal.

So there you have it! Hopefully this helps someone write an amazing essay that not only gets them a good mark, but a feeling of contentedness as well. And hopefully my first How-To post went alright!

This is how confident I am in all of you! Yeah!

Now, I better get back to writing my essay...

Life Continues Gloriously and I Play Video Games. Fantastically.

Well now, blogging kind of escaped me for a while there. I had nothing to talk about. Lots of lovely nothings to fascinate and enthrall you all, as usual, and I'm sorry you've missed them. Should I do another run down about what happened in the last month and a bit? Stuff happened. I finished my first semester of third year, and I think it went really well. Possibly my best semester yet, not because I worked especially hard, which I certainly did not, but because I didn't have any courses that were impossible to do well in. Not only were all my professors good (or goodish, anyway) but I actually liked all of my courses. This semester was important for me partially because it was the first semester where I didn't have to take any of the courses I chose, and by that I mean that they weren't prerequisites for either my degree or another course I wanted to take. All five of my courses were chosen by me, for me. And it actually turned out really well! This was especially significant for my science course, because I'd previously been very disappointed with my grades and lack of enjoyment in my bio courses, and this semester I got to take a course that I didn't have to take and in a specialization that high school Ronnie would have never, ever, in a million million years, have taken. Turns out not only do I enjoy botany, but I'm actually pretty good at it as well.

But now that's all over, and as sad as it sounds I am still a child and I cannot wait to get back to school with a fresh attitude and work ethic in January. I know. Where is my slacker student spirit? Lost forever, I can only hope.

Not to say that I'm not looking forward to my holidays! Oh, I so am. I'm back home now, in Tobago, and it's been lovely. I feel like I haven't done very much at all, but it's early days. I have a few plans and of course, some work to get done, but all work that I enjoy and am generally looking forward to. Can this be life forever? Fingers crossed, because I don't see why not. Also can you see that picture??? Google figured out it was a Christmas tree and so naturally IT MADE THE LIGHTS TWINKLE. What is this brave new world that has such programs in't???

If there is one thing I could complain about, it would, so ironically, be the weather. It's been so windy lately! I mean yeah, it's warm and all, and to be honest I like a nice breeze more than anything down here. Hot weather and I don't generally get along without one. But this is gale force winds! And that was an exaggeration! Still, it's been too windy to sit outside and read a book so that means too windy for me. Mainly I've been sitting inside, playing Animal Crossing, doing some baking, and showering a lot. Is that weird? I've been showering a lot. I swear I'm not dirty, I'm just really loving cleanliness? Maybe this is an indication that I want to hit the pool. We shall see. I was going to take some pictures of my baking, because I was so excited, but it was actually a monumental failure. I hadn't realized how out of practice I was, and it did take me a couple of trays to get back into the swing of things. Naturally my ego and I had been playing up the occasion of Christmas baking quite a bit, so the ol' pride took a bit of a hit, but I'll make up for it. The next seven days are going to be so fucking festive, I'll make this family cry. Cry for more cookies, that is. I'll keep you updated.

I also made an alt character in Animal Crossing! I know. God, I know. I have been playing too much. I wouldn't even mind if I'd been playing some other games too, but I haven't. I haven't been playing anything. Just AC...

This is my new character. I'd tell you his name, but I'm assuming I don't have to. When I told my mom I was making a male character, she didn't even need to ask... I did love that he was already wearing a red shirt, though. And that hair style. Suddenly my town looks like the setting for a perfect self insert. I'm okay with that? I needed the storage!

What even happened this October?

So I carved my very first pumpkin this Halloween! As you can see I went for the traditional look, and I think it came out pretty well! Kind of want to make this a new tradition but I haven’t roasted the seeds yet (that’s tonight’s adventure!) so I think we’ll have to wait and see how they turn out. Naturally, I’ll let you know.

Other things that have happened since I last posted were Thanksgiving 2013, which was lovely. The nice thing about living away is that it makes family gatherings extra extra special. Mom and Dad both flew up to Ottawa for the weekend so it was kinda perfect. It was also a little bit sad though because Christmas this year is officially messed up. Now that Kevin has a full time job (rollin’ in the cash- the jerk) he isn’t swimming in free time, even around the holidays, and since Dad’s working Christmas (again) it doesn’t look like we’re going to have a Kratz family reunion. Alas, growing up. Luckily I’m still fun and fancy free come mid-December onwards so it’s not getting me down too much. But enough of that holiday cheer! Let’s get back to the real world! School!

School has been weird. I haven’t been feeling like myself at all lately. For one thing, I keep sleeping in. I’m actually late to class on a regular basis now, which is bizarre. I’ve always been the kind of person who needs to be early for things. I like to be wherever I need to be before anyone else, especially when it comes to classes. For some reason this year I can’t seem to get moving in the morning, and even when I know I’m going to be late, it just doesn’t bother me. Generally I have a harder time getting things done in the fall semester anyways (never been sure why, but the winter semester is always my most productive time of year) so I’m trying not to worry myself, but I really hope this isn’t going to be a permanent change! I miss super-keen me.

I also think I’m spending too much money. This kind of relates to the above because, in general, I’ve never had a problem with getting my thrift on and being the cheapest student I could be. While that hasn’t changed I keep finding myself splurging for no real reason, and with Christmas coming up there’s no foreseeable end to this guilt trip. I have a feeling it’ll all be okay in the end, though. It’s just the right now that I’m worried about.

Oh, and I’ve also chosen my courses for next semester. It’s looking like I’ll only have class Tuesdays and Thursdays, which I have very mixed feelings about, so we’ll see how it all works out.

I think that’s a pretty good update on my life lately! Crunch time is coming up with regards to the semesters assignments, so wish me luck with that!

Optimism Parameters in OVERDRIVE.

First week of third year happened! How exciting is that? I know that at the time, I thought high school went flying by but I guess the fact that university is something I dreamed of for so long before actually coming here that I just sort of assumed that it would take up a greater portion of my life. Really, though, your undergrad is only four years long, which is... not very long at all...

But I'm sure you're all wondering just how my first week of classes actually went, so I'll give you the lovely scoop on my activities. : )

Overall, it actually went fantastic. Being in third year, I feel like I really have this whole university thing down. Guelph is my main city. Profs are my peeps. Various other like expressions. I love that every year I come back to Guelph I can't go on campus without running into familiar faces. At least, I love this now, come exam time when I'm plowing through campus to get a book from the library despite having not showered for three days I'll be significantly less happy about running into friends who want to 'chat'. But it's the beginning of the semester, so let's not go there just yet! Let's enjoy the fact that I have lots of friends and people to say hello to on campus. I know that this must be at least a semi-new concept for me, because I think I have a really over the top reaction of surprise when I run into someone I'm not expecting. Maybe it's because I'm a scientist- I find order in the world, and when that order get's disturbed and my housemate comes home early while I'm still cooking dinner and I flip the fuck out. You'd think a scientist would be more composed, but again, maybe that's the issue. New hypothesis: I've developed a careful exterior persona to be used when in the company of others, with slight variations depending on whether I'm with friends or acquaintances. When people surprise me they're effectively shattering this persona, or my 'cool' which takes me an inordinate amount of time to regain. That, or I just get surprised really easily. But it's always good to go more in-depth when it comes to self-reflection.

One person I ran into was actually a... I suppose' role model' of mine. It was wonderful getting the chance to catch up with her and hear about what she's been up to lately. I don't think she knows this, but she's kind of living my dream, and ever since meeting her in my first year I've really looked up to her. It was a lovely surprise seeing her again and I think it's given the whole semester a really inspiring atmosphere. I feel like great things are going to happen this season. I think I told you that second year was the year of 'what the hell am I doing with this degree', yes? Well, third year is looking more and more like the year where I finally figured my life out and just went for it. 

Speaking of old friends, this past week has been a whirlwind of socialization and I'm loving it. My two bestest friends in the world are always the best thing about coming back to Guelph and I feel like we've already had a mountain of good times. Sometimes I'm just happy.

Also, 13 more days until my birthday. Whaaaaaat?!

Summer's End, New Beginnings, and Fancy-Looking Temptations.

I finally managed to find a place where the AC works, and I'm freezing cold now. Life.

So I'm not unaware that there was a distinct gap in my posts recently. The truth is very dull- nothing really happened to post about. I did find a place to live, which means that I did get to go back to Guelph to continue my education. Sometimes it seems like the world is conspiring to not get me my undergraduate degree, but if that's so then it's also true that I'm winning this battle of wills, and that's not so bad. When I think about how much my staying here at university is chance, luck, government loans and a totally modest iron will to stay, I get a little worried, and then I get very angry that this country is set up in such a way that I have to worry about being able to stay in school.

But anyway, the important thing is, my greatest and most unforgettable fuck-up has finally been corrected and I have a place to sleep! Not to worry, though, the summer has taught me that I'll never be able to live it down and escape those off-shoulder comments about my irresponsibility, and the cosmos has told that if it had an opinion, it would be that it's not forgetting any time soon because I'm living next to one of the people who put me in this position, besides myself.

I swear, this wasn't meant to be a poor-Ronnie post, that just sort of happened when my fingers hit the keyboard.

Life isn't all bad, though. Orientation Week started up at my school, and my student organization did really well! Lot's of people came to our events, a good number actually seemed interested in getting involved, and overall I'm thinking I might turn out to be a pretty swell prez. I do, however, need to work on my ability to delegate. This summer was crazy and if actual schoolwork is going to happen next week and beyond, I have to start sharing some responsibilities.

Oh yeah, and here's a little shot of what I guess is now a Kratz family tradition, the really early birthday present that I get to hold on to until September 27th. My Mom wrapped it this year. Can you tell? It's bursting with spider power.

One More Academic Hurdle Obliterated.

If there is one thing that I love about university, it's planning out all of the courses I'm going to take. At least once every semester (usually more than that) the master plan is revamped and updated according to what I liked or didn't like about a course I was taking, or some other great new idea I had. One of the best things about my degree is that it's so incredibly flexible that I have the room to do whatever I'd like. I just love my degree. I love it so much. And I'm president of our Student Association (sorry, sorry, but I am never going to get tired of saying that!).

Back to the point of this post (as there is a point), I was switching around my courses to suit the new master undergraduate plan and I started thinking about my master graduate plan (though I suppose I could just call it the 'Masters Plan', eh? Ha.). I decided to do something I'd been avoiding for weeks - checking the entry requirements. I mentioned a few posts ago that the newest graduate plan revolves around Glasgow's MLitt in Environment, Culture, and Communication. There are two major obstacles to the master graduate plan, the first being that I cannot in any way, shape, or form afford to go to Glasgow on international fees. I am seriously and horribly in debt going to Guelph on local fees. Ignoring that mountainous obstacle, the other issue was actually getting into this program, meaning whether or not my marks are good enough.

I used the university's US grade requirement (since I couldn't find any Canadian requirements), which meant taking all of my grades and calculating my American GPA. I made two discoveries. The first was that I actually, amazingly, meet the entrance requirements for this wonderful program. What. What? Still can't believe it. The second even more surprising discovery was that I'm on the Dean's Honours List!?!

To understand my amazement, you have to know that my grades have been atrocious since coming to university. I was one of those horror stories used to scare high school kids. I went from I think a 90-something average coming out of high school to a semester 1 average of 65%. I was passing. I didn't go crazy with the partying uni lifestyle or anything, I just couldn't seem to get the marks that I wanted. It had never been a problem before. In high school I put the effort in and got good grades, but in university that really wasn't working. The only thing I could think of to fix the issue was to work harder. And now, at the end of my second year, I'm on the Dean's Honours List. Job well done, me. Job well fucking done. (Apologies that this is turning into a super prideful post; I realize I'm essentially writing this to pat myself on the back.)

When I examined all of the data, I discovered (and had been vaguely aware previously) that since that horrible first semester my grades have been rising and my semesterly average has been increasing by about 5% each term (it's actually been a weirdly steady increase). This means that as of right now, after a very long and painful climb from essentially the bottom of the barrel, my marks could actually be considered decent. If I can keep it up then I should be able to graduate with a pretty good GPA, hopefully well above the entrance requirements, and with any luck at all, it'll get me into that MLitt program. Yeah! I still have no idea whatsoever how I could ever afford it, but if I can get accepted that's got to be the first step of this dream coming true. Yeah! So, in other words,

Dwarven Vow #16: You can do anything if you try.

My Degree is Half Full!

New layout, new design, new title, new blog!

I get the strange feeling that this blog gets a revamp every time exams season rears its ugly head. In any case, hope you like it! I think it's much more neat and clear than previously. When I was designing it the comic theme just kind of asserted itself, and I think it works.

Obviously I haven't been keeping up with the blog this semester so I'll just jump right on in to the complexities of my life.

It's the end of my second year of university! And I'm starting to get really excited for third year. As of this semester I got a lot of prereqs out of the way and can focus entirely on taking the courses that are interesting and significant to what I want to do in my life. I suppose that's where the trouble begins, really. Next year these courses really will count towards whatever it is I do with my life after my undergrad. My marks have to be better than ever and just the thought of that is exhausting. Not only that, but this semester I've been elected president of the student organization that I'm involved with on campus. The world now has to refer to me as madam president. Also I don't think I can adequately describe how much it means to me that I've been given this incredible responsibility. On the one hand, yeah, it's just a club but on the other hand it's my go-to example of something that I just dove into without really thinking (or over-thinking) and I've actually succeeded. Not that I don't ever succeed at things, but this was different. I'd never done anything like student government before, but in first year I just picked up a form and decided it was something that I wanted to do. That kind of direction and, frankly, stalwart optimism that things weren't going to blow up horribly in my face is kind of the way I want to live my life.

So in other words, I sort of don't want to fuck next year up.

It's exciting, but also very worrisome. On top of this stress heap I also have teetering the monumental issue of not having anywhere to live for next year. I know things will work out (see that optimism? See how good I'm getting?) but I just want to run out and sort them right now. I keep finding myself caught in this very awkward life stage somewhere between relying on parents and relying on myself. I know it's a learning process for the parents too, they don't really know when to assign me to helm control for my life and I don't really know when to maneuver. Somehow I feel like the confusion is driving us towards the edge of a cliff and into a deep dark crevasse of adulthood (optimism gone), but I had been picturing a spaceship with this driving analogy so cliff sides shouldn't be a thing. In a perfect world I don't want to have to worry about stupid and largely pointless things like where I'm going to live for eight months of the year.

Overall, the future looks bright, even if there is a thunderstorm rolling through Guelph this fine evening. My spirits shan't be dampened! I found an incredible masters program at the University of Glasgow last week, and after what could accurately be called the year where I didn't know where the hell I was going with all of this education shit, I think I may finally have a new goal. Her name is MLitt in Environment, Culture, and Communication, and I think you're going to like her.

Final note- I just discovered upon tagging this post that I last tagged 'Glasgow' when blogging about my acceptance out of grade 12. Well, I can't really afford her, but she clearly wants me. ; )

What's for Dinner?

I am a nodder. I'm one of those students who feels the need to keep professors in a continuous state of reassurance that I understand what they're saying (even if I don't). I keep a constant rhythm of nods for them throughout class. It's fairly static, but the tempo can increase dramatically when/if they make eye contact with me.

It's come to my attention in recent times that most people don't do this, which makes me feel slightly alone, but every now and then I'm in a class where there is more than one of us nodders, perhaps even a few of us, and I know that we have an understanding. A message for all of those nodders out there, possibly nodding your comprehension of this very sentence: you are not alone; I feel you.

Now for food. Living in a townhouse this year has afforded me the opportunity to actually make food, and through the past three months I've managed to get visual evidence of my cooking skillz to share with the web. One day, I hope to look back on these culinary masterpieces and laugh heartily because I'll be eating so much better by then... right?

Yeah, eggs are pretty much all that I can do. However, I do do them rather well, if I do say so myself. My favorite part of these pictures is that you can clearly make out my laptop in every one except for toad in the hole. So please, future me, tell me that you eventually stopped slobbing every meal at your desk. Tell me we purchased a table. Please.

Also, grating cheese for that pasta was my being 'fancy'.

And now, a final thought: I'm doing better in all of my English courses than any of my Biology courses. This happened last year as well. Is this a sign? Should I be re-thinking my life?

Other final thought: My back does not ever crack, and I cannot remember it ever happening before, which leads me to believe that if my back were ever to crack it would be the most incredible crack in the world, ever.

Good Job, Bruce.

I applied to my first ever real-live (part-time) job today! I'm still not entirely sure whether or not I'll have the time for it what with school and Batman: Arkham City, but I finally decided that if I didn't take the plunge and give it a go, then I'd never have any money for my entire undergrad. So wish me luck!

Something that's been bugging me lately: poorly written textbooks. They cost so much money, and involve so much work, to have to cause so much pain as well? Now that I'm in my  second year of university (I'm in my second year of university!) I've been exposed to enough good and bad textbooks to know that the fifth edition of Vertebrates: Comparative Anatomy, Function, Evolution doesn't need to be the walls of text made of up of endless pages of big, dry terms that it is. It could be exciting. It could have colour! They could even plan out the formatting so that some of the figures and diagrams are on the same page that they're referenced on.

Sometimes I feel like I should be on Facebook more. I like the idea of being able to look back on these undergrad years when I'm livin' it up at 45 (totally gonna be livin' it up at 45) and see exactly who I was. In saying this, I'd like to mention that every time I go on Google+ and see how pretty/cool it is, I desperately wish people used it. So come on, people! Get on Google+! It's like totally super more prettier than Facebook!

Aaaand speaking of life updates, I went to the Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Godessess concert at the Sony Centre in Toronto last Saturday, and it was totally boss. I got this entirely cute blue dress for it over the summer; it had little butterflies on it. Pictures will be happening at some point. Back to the concert, not only did we get three encores (screw Montreal!), but the awesome Irish conductor used the WIND WAKER to conduct the wind waker songs. My friend and I spent most of the show trying to find an alleged Groose cosplayer mentioned on Twitter, whom we eventually spotted at the bottom of the escalator. After fighting through hoards of fans to get at him we were way too obvious about how excited we were to finally find him and I made the brilliant move of telling him we'd been talking about him on Twitter. I'd post the picture of the guy (t'was a grand cosplay), but I think I freaked him out enough already. Also I got hundreds of hits on streetpass, for realz. You can't really see it, but everyone in that picture is sitting there on their 3DS.

Nov. 19th- A Day In History

Another Friday hits and I find myself blogging. It'd be pretty cool if I could make a habit out of this. I never will.

Anyway, huge news in the life of moi; I got my very first offer to a university today. My very first, very real offer. Yup, looks like the University of Glasgow would love to have me in their Zoology program (provided that I meet the terms and conditions outlined). Conditional or not, though, it's an offer; one that I've been getting pretty panicky over. I love knowing that there's somewhere I can go- it's like everything's finally paying off. Hard work really does equal success, eh?

Of course, my dad was kind enough to remind me that my international/overseas (BIG BIG MONEY) status may have had something to do with my offer, but I really don't care. I'm so happy I was literally jumping up and down earlier; so the geeks out there know I must have been rather excited.

Zoology was also my second choice- I'm going for vet med, but that happens to be ridiculously hard to get into in the UK (so go, Guelph, go!). My policy on applying was try everything and see what happens. So far I've applied to nine different programs at seven schools (aha, 7 of 9...).

All this Uni stuff is very exciting. Right now I'd say it takes up at least 75% of my idle thoughts, which isn't very good for someone like myself, who has a very bad tendency to over-think things. It's worst in the mornings. I'm amazed how easily my mind accepts the possibility of every single clock in my house being slow. Anyway, so when I'm thinking about Uni, I'll often find myself thinking about what could be. Mainly if I didn't take vet med. ...Or any sciences. I think a lot about what it would be like to take something like a degree in Art or English, which of course, compared to the sciences, would be like getting a degree in toast-making. My English teacher, who's one of those really nice teachers that people like to take advantage of, insists that I go into these fields (mostly English). I've never really considered myself talented at either of these subjects until recently, so I'm a little apprehensive about it. I think of English and Art as fun courses, too, and making a living out of that seems a little far-fetched. I mean, getting an English degree would be swell if I wanted to become an English teacher.

My mind is still set, but just like there's a parallel world where every clock, watch and cell phone in my house is running about 10 minutes late every morning, there's a parallel me out there whose just been offered a place in an English program. Well, good for her, but mainly good for me.

Cause I got an offer from a University.

Oh, another thing I've been wrestling with; this blog. Do I tell others to read it, or what? On one hand, having people in my life reading my blog would prohibit me from speaking about them (at least negatively) in it, but on the other hand I have one follower, who is my best friend. I'm not exactly swimming in the readers here...

Three Strikes and We're Out

As of this September, I am an only child.

It doesn't really sound too surprising that though I've known this day would come since forever, it never really clicked. I couldn't even imagine life when all of my siblings entered the brave new world that is higher education. As a little shout out to my fellow youngests, I think that being the last to leave the nest is one of the harder burdens life places on us. A family separated, even on the nicest of terms (like university) is like the leftover scraps from a Sunday roast. Those left behind after the feast huddle together in shared little containers since they don't need the big plate anymore. It's not completely over, they can still be reheated and reunited in the microwave, but it just doesn't taste the same. No matter how close it is you still spend most of your time in the refrigerator.

It's an awkward comparison when I think about it too literaly (sounds like some post-apocalyptic survivor story - screw the matrix, we're really leftovers in the fridge), but right now I feel like the scraggly strips of roast someone left behind on their plate.

In my experience the parents always cry when they drop the first born and second born and so on off at the campus, or worse (and in my case) the airport. It's the younger siblings job to look on proudly, with a smile that says 'Good job! You finally made it!' The parents will always have a harder time than the siblings. I've never been alone to deal with the parental aftermath of saying goodbye before. I came home from school and my parents were sitting around, saying nothing. I didn't figure out why until I said something and discovered the terrible echo in the house.

Last weekend we moved me into my second brothers nicer, brighter, and bigger room. I still turn the wrong way at the top of the stairs, but I'm slowly adjusting. It doesn't look like my brothers room anymore, but my ownership of it feels weirdly temporary. I suppose it is; next September my mother gets to cry her last baby goodbye. In some ways I see this as a good thing. In most ways I see this as a good thing. Other times I don't want to think about what it'll be like for my parents, that boundless pride mixed with overwhelming sadness, and dusting off another empty room every once in a while... Progress is progress, however, and growing up is impossible without the crucial 'moving on' phase. Still, I wonder how they'll fight the echo when I'm not there to be loud.

We spend a lot more time together now, I think. We watch shows (V, currently). We invite people over for dinner. We don't play cards anymore (something that was once a nightly ritual for my family). Euchre is a four person game.

It's not all doom and gloom; like I said, we hit the microwave every now and then with phone calls and the wonders of Skype. But there's an awful lot of fridge time... Then again, it's only September, and the perks of being an only child (the disappearance of the want/need barrier) are a nice comfort.

As a side, I give you a view from my new bedroom window. It looks far more impressive in real life. Still, only in Trinidad, eh?