I miss you, babe. Like Pig in the City.

I broke my favorite mug, and a part of my soul chipped away with it.

R.I.P Beauty and the Beast Mug, 2003 - 2014

Everyone has a mug that is their mug, and this one was mine. It was perfect! Everything from the size to the thickness to the curvature of the rim... And then I dropped it.

I guess it just never occurred to me that I would ever be in a situation without that mug. It's one of the reminders of my past that I really thought would always be there. Only now it isn't. It was like drinking out of memories. I like my other mugs but they aren't steeped in the memories of my past the way that this one is. Not yet, anyway. It may seem silly, and in fact it may be silly to feel so strongly about the loss of a mug, but it really meant a lot to me. When I dropped it I sat on the floor and cried for a while. This blog is quickly turning into TMI with seasonings of regret for Older Ronnie. But isn't that what blogs are for? Yeah!

I decided that I couldn't throw away my mug. So I didn't.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY.

I would give you a life update, but breaking my beloved Disney mug is a pretty good representation of what it's been like lately. Very hard, lots of work, but unlike my mug, I'm getting through it alright. One thing that did happen was that my organization ran an event about one of the upper year ASCI courses at Guelph, and it was fantastic! More than ever, I know I can't wait to take that course. It's called the Honours Research Seminar and you essentially make this huge 40+ page paper about a research topic that combines your minors. It's meant to be like a lead-up to graduate school, which is of course, perfect! We'll see how this changes in the next year, but right now I want to write about how the environment has impacted the work of science fiction authors. Specifically I'd like to look at how their portrayal of the environment has changed over time to suit societal perceptions. Obviously that's just a rough idea right now, and I'm sure it'll get more specific and/or change entirely by the time winter 2015 rolls around (like maybe the environment on alien worlds vs. our own or something? Or how it's specifically handled by women writers, or those from a scientific background?), but for now I just can't wait!

One More Academic Hurdle Obliterated.

If there is one thing that I love about university, it's planning out all of the courses I'm going to take. At least once every semester (usually more than that) the master plan is revamped and updated according to what I liked or didn't like about a course I was taking, or some other great new idea I had. One of the best things about my degree is that it's so incredibly flexible that I have the room to do whatever I'd like. I just love my degree. I love it so much. And I'm president of our Student Association (sorry, sorry, but I am never going to get tired of saying that!).

Back to the point of this post (as there is a point), I was switching around my courses to suit the new master undergraduate plan and I started thinking about my master graduate plan (though I suppose I could just call it the 'Masters Plan', eh? Ha.). I decided to do something I'd been avoiding for weeks - checking the entry requirements. I mentioned a few posts ago that the newest graduate plan revolves around Glasgow's MLitt in Environment, Culture, and Communication. There are two major obstacles to the master graduate plan, the first being that I cannot in any way, shape, or form afford to go to Glasgow on international fees. I am seriously and horribly in debt going to Guelph on local fees. Ignoring that mountainous obstacle, the other issue was actually getting into this program, meaning whether or not my marks are good enough.

I used the university's US grade requirement (since I couldn't find any Canadian requirements), which meant taking all of my grades and calculating my American GPA. I made two discoveries. The first was that I actually, amazingly, meet the entrance requirements for this wonderful program. What. What? Still can't believe it. The second even more surprising discovery was that I'm on the Dean's Honours List!?!

To understand my amazement, you have to know that my grades have been atrocious since coming to university. I was one of those horror stories used to scare high school kids. I went from I think a 90-something average coming out of high school to a semester 1 average of 65%. I was passing. I didn't go crazy with the partying uni lifestyle or anything, I just couldn't seem to get the marks that I wanted. It had never been a problem before. In high school I put the effort in and got good grades, but in university that really wasn't working. The only thing I could think of to fix the issue was to work harder. And now, at the end of my second year, I'm on the Dean's Honours List. Job well done, me. Job well fucking done. (Apologies that this is turning into a super prideful post; I realize I'm essentially writing this to pat myself on the back.)

When I examined all of the data, I discovered (and had been vaguely aware previously) that since that horrible first semester my grades have been rising and my semesterly average has been increasing by about 5% each term (it's actually been a weirdly steady increase). This means that as of right now, after a very long and painful climb from essentially the bottom of the barrel, my marks could actually be considered decent. If I can keep it up then I should be able to graduate with a pretty good GPA, hopefully well above the entrance requirements, and with any luck at all, it'll get me into that MLitt program. Yeah! I still have no idea whatsoever how I could ever afford it, but if I can get accepted that's got to be the first step of this dream coming true. Yeah! So, in other words,

Dwarven Vow #16: You can do anything if you try.

My Degree is Half Full!

New layout, new design, new title, new blog!

I get the strange feeling that this blog gets a revamp every time exams season rears its ugly head. In any case, hope you like it! I think it's much more neat and clear than previously. When I was designing it the comic theme just kind of asserted itself, and I think it works.

Obviously I haven't been keeping up with the blog this semester so I'll just jump right on in to the complexities of my life.

It's the end of my second year of university! And I'm starting to get really excited for third year. As of this semester I got a lot of prereqs out of the way and can focus entirely on taking the courses that are interesting and significant to what I want to do in my life. I suppose that's where the trouble begins, really. Next year these courses really will count towards whatever it is I do with my life after my undergrad. My marks have to be better than ever and just the thought of that is exhausting. Not only that, but this semester I've been elected president of the student organization that I'm involved with on campus. The world now has to refer to me as madam president. Also I don't think I can adequately describe how much it means to me that I've been given this incredible responsibility. On the one hand, yeah, it's just a club but on the other hand it's my go-to example of something that I just dove into without really thinking (or over-thinking) and I've actually succeeded. Not that I don't ever succeed at things, but this was different. I'd never done anything like student government before, but in first year I just picked up a form and decided it was something that I wanted to do. That kind of direction and, frankly, stalwart optimism that things weren't going to blow up horribly in my face is kind of the way I want to live my life.

So in other words, I sort of don't want to fuck next year up.

It's exciting, but also very worrisome. On top of this stress heap I also have teetering the monumental issue of not having anywhere to live for next year. I know things will work out (see that optimism? See how good I'm getting?) but I just want to run out and sort them right now. I keep finding myself caught in this very awkward life stage somewhere between relying on parents and relying on myself. I know it's a learning process for the parents too, they don't really know when to assign me to helm control for my life and I don't really know when to maneuver. Somehow I feel like the confusion is driving us towards the edge of a cliff and into a deep dark crevasse of adulthood (optimism gone), but I had been picturing a spaceship with this driving analogy so cliff sides shouldn't be a thing. In a perfect world I don't want to have to worry about stupid and largely pointless things like where I'm going to live for eight months of the year.

Overall, the future looks bright, even if there is a thunderstorm rolling through Guelph this fine evening. My spirits shan't be dampened! I found an incredible masters program at the University of Glasgow last week, and after what could accurately be called the year where I didn't know where the hell I was going with all of this education shit, I think I may finally have a new goal. Her name is MLitt in Environment, Culture, and Communication, and I think you're going to like her.

Final note- I just discovered upon tagging this post that I last tagged 'Glasgow' when blogging about my acceptance out of grade 12. Well, I can't really afford her, but she clearly wants me. ; )