I miss you, babe. Like Pig in the City.

I broke my favorite mug, and a part of my soul chipped away with it.

R.I.P Beauty and the Beast Mug, 2003 - 2014

Everyone has a mug that is their mug, and this one was mine. It was perfect! Everything from the size to the thickness to the curvature of the rim... And then I dropped it.

I guess it just never occurred to me that I would ever be in a situation without that mug. It's one of the reminders of my past that I really thought would always be there. Only now it isn't. It was like drinking out of memories. I like my other mugs but they aren't steeped in the memories of my past the way that this one is. Not yet, anyway. It may seem silly, and in fact it may be silly to feel so strongly about the loss of a mug, but it really meant a lot to me. When I dropped it I sat on the floor and cried for a while. This blog is quickly turning into TMI with seasonings of regret for Older Ronnie. But isn't that what blogs are for? Yeah!

I decided that I couldn't throw away my mug. So I didn't.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY.

I would give you a life update, but breaking my beloved Disney mug is a pretty good representation of what it's been like lately. Very hard, lots of work, but unlike my mug, I'm getting through it alright. One thing that did happen was that my organization ran an event about one of the upper year ASCI courses at Guelph, and it was fantastic! More than ever, I know I can't wait to take that course. It's called the Honours Research Seminar and you essentially make this huge 40+ page paper about a research topic that combines your minors. It's meant to be like a lead-up to graduate school, which is of course, perfect! We'll see how this changes in the next year, but right now I want to write about how the environment has impacted the work of science fiction authors. Specifically I'd like to look at how their portrayal of the environment has changed over time to suit societal perceptions. Obviously that's just a rough idea right now, and I'm sure it'll get more specific and/or change entirely by the time winter 2015 rolls around (like maybe the environment on alien worlds vs. our own or something? Or how it's specifically handled by women writers, or those from a scientific background?), but for now I just can't wait!

How to Spend All of New Years Day on the Computer

I have a weird New Years tradition that I thought I'd share with you all! 

Every year since 2009, I've done a kind of year-reflection to keep track of how my life is going, specifically how it's changed, and my goals for the future. I do this reflection using a serious of questions that I answer each year. I keep the questions in a onenote notebook (because back in 2009, I used onenote), and I don't look at any of the questions or any of the answers at all during the year, except at New Years. This makes it so that I don't remember any of the questions or any of the answers I gave before it's time to fill it all out again. 

There are four categories of questions, and I add at least one question to each category each year, which is part of the reason why I have no idea how many questions there are and part of the reason why answering them all takes me a very long time - we're talking hours. Though to be fair I do tend to be a bit long-winded in my answers.

The four categories are:

Life, or General - These have to do with the current state of things. Age. Currently reading. That sort of thing.

Favorites - Self explanatory. Favorite books, video games, youtubers, etc.

Dreams - My hopes and dreams regarding university, love, life, etc. This is also a place to reflect on my literal dreaming, and try desperately to remember some of the dreams I've had that year.

Questions - These are specific questions I want my future self to answer every year, next year, in twenty years, etc. Did I ever post that fanfic? Are people still going on about 2012? Did you get into University? Did The Hobbit come out like it's supposed to, how was it, how did you see it, what was it like? Ordinary stuff.

There's also a section for what playthrough of Tales of Symphonia I'm currently on. When I started in 2009 I was at 3. I'm now at 6. Balling.

After I fill everything out and make new questions, I go back and read over the previous years. I love reading how I've changed over the years, with what I thought was important and what I wanted in my life. I always find it's a really great way to start a year, because you have to look back on your whole life (since 2009, anyway) and that inevitably gets you thinking about the future, and the changes and opportunities that await. I also really like seeing things come to fruition through this. In 2009 a lot of my focus was on what university would be like, because it was still just a dream. Now it's a reality! You can see your dreams come true or change as time goes by. Since 2010 I started asking frantic questions about The Hobbit movies and last year I finally got to answer them. This reflection reminds me that the things I'm excited for now will happen one day, and that anything can happen. One day I'll be using this to reflect on graduate school, getting a job, and starting a family. The future is bright!

X-MAS 2013 - A LOW DOWN.

BOOM. Christmas 2013! It happened. I made cookies. In response to my last post, I think I rose to the challenge pretty darn well and have officially regained my mojo.

THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. Bonus points if you can name them all. I got carried away once I mastered the Star fleet uniform.

Overall Christmas was a success! Like last year we ended up hosting the Christmas party thing for my Dad's work. That's always kinda fun and kinda boring. It was better than last year in that there were fewer people and it was less party hardy and more relaxed in atmosphere. I actually quite enjoy entertaining because I like preparing for things and I can (rarely and when the occasion requires it) cook, so it's always fun helping out Mom with this sort of thing. The fact that Mom really loves doing it is also a huge plus. Whatever makes my mother happy inevitably makes the rest of us happy as well, even just to see her enjoying herself. WE LOVE YOU MOM.

I also spent most of Christmas playing Batman: Arkham Origins, which was a truly fantastic early Christmas present. Those games are just so wonderful. From start to finish- pure joy. This is the first game in the series where I've been taking my time with completion of the story, mainly because whenever I'm home I always worry that I'm not spending enough time with the family, and while I don't mind playing games in the living room with everyone, sometimes it can be a little distracting. It affects my immersion, man! Escapism! Anyway I might talk more about the game once I've completed the main story, until then I'm officially reserving judgement (unlike the Knight... badum-tiss).

So after all that Mom and I flew out on Boxing Day and headed up to Ottawa to break-in the new year with the boys. Here are some shots of the skies over Ottawa and two very sleepy travelers about 16 hours into their journey.

Blurry because I haven't mastered the focus on my phone camera yet. Lolz! It was very cold when we arrived. I kept warm via selfies.

The boys actually had lots of presents waiting for me under the tree, which was a lovely surprise! I'd been utterly content with Origins, but I feel that Yoshi slippers are always a plus. And more selfies!

Hilariously a lot of those presents are actually wrapped up empty boxes because Colin likes to fill up the tree with presents. But that's cool, right? If it works for the stores it works for the home! We've also started the tradition of wrapping everything. Everything. If you ask someone to pick up some coffee that's on sale it'll go under the tree for Christmas. Unwrapping things is fun!

It's been nice seeing my brothers again. Kevin's actually moving out soon, so he's been busy getting ready for that. It's strange. Until now I feel like every change that's happened has done so because it had to. We all moved out to go to university, and when both of my brothers came to Ottawa they got an apartment. It's different this time. Tensions are high. Adult life is odd.

I got my marks back from last semester! My best yet, I'm very very very pleased to say. One thing that's always fun about Dad's work gatherings is that I get to hear how he talks about me to his coworkers, and a little parental gushing is always a nice treat. All evidence indicates pride in their daughter, so it would appear that I'm doing my job there. And I finished a short story! Wild, I know. I finished my most recently started story, too. But don't get too excited, it's not really done done, just technically done in that all of the bits are written, but I'm not nearly convinced that they're written WELL yet. You'll never guess what it's about. It may involve androids, space travel, genetic engineering and discussion on the concept of humanity. Like I said, it's really rough around the edges right now but if I can finagle it into saying what I want it to say then I think it'll be something for me to be proud of. Accomplishment!

Overall: a successful Christmas.

As for New Years I have no photos and not really any stories to tell? Not a bad thing! I had a night in with the fam (or most of it). We played Catan, ate lots of food, played Animal Crossing and watched Ace Ventura. It was great! It's possible I'll have more to say about New Year's Day as it continues, but I'm hoping it'll shape up to be just as blissfully uneventful.

What even happened this October?

So I carved my very first pumpkin this Halloween! As you can see I went for the traditional look, and I think it came out pretty well! Kind of want to make this a new tradition but I haven’t roasted the seeds yet (that’s tonight’s adventure!) so I think we’ll have to wait and see how they turn out. Naturally, I’ll let you know.

Other things that have happened since I last posted were Thanksgiving 2013, which was lovely. The nice thing about living away is that it makes family gatherings extra extra special. Mom and Dad both flew up to Ottawa for the weekend so it was kinda perfect. It was also a little bit sad though because Christmas this year is officially messed up. Now that Kevin has a full time job (rollin’ in the cash- the jerk) he isn’t swimming in free time, even around the holidays, and since Dad’s working Christmas (again) it doesn’t look like we’re going to have a Kratz family reunion. Alas, growing up. Luckily I’m still fun and fancy free come mid-December onwards so it’s not getting me down too much. But enough of that holiday cheer! Let’s get back to the real world! School!

School has been weird. I haven’t been feeling like myself at all lately. For one thing, I keep sleeping in. I’m actually late to class on a regular basis now, which is bizarre. I’ve always been the kind of person who needs to be early for things. I like to be wherever I need to be before anyone else, especially when it comes to classes. For some reason this year I can’t seem to get moving in the morning, and even when I know I’m going to be late, it just doesn’t bother me. Generally I have a harder time getting things done in the fall semester anyways (never been sure why, but the winter semester is always my most productive time of year) so I’m trying not to worry myself, but I really hope this isn’t going to be a permanent change! I miss super-keen me.

I also think I’m spending too much money. This kind of relates to the above because, in general, I’ve never had a problem with getting my thrift on and being the cheapest student I could be. While that hasn’t changed I keep finding myself splurging for no real reason, and with Christmas coming up there’s no foreseeable end to this guilt trip. I have a feeling it’ll all be okay in the end, though. It’s just the right now that I’m worried about.

Oh, and I’ve also chosen my courses for next semester. It’s looking like I’ll only have class Tuesdays and Thursdays, which I have very mixed feelings about, so we’ll see how it all works out.

I think that’s a pretty good update on my life lately! Crunch time is coming up with regards to the semesters assignments, so wish me luck with that!

Summer's End, New Beginnings, and Fancy-Looking Temptations.

I finally managed to find a place where the AC works, and I'm freezing cold now. Life.

So I'm not unaware that there was a distinct gap in my posts recently. The truth is very dull- nothing really happened to post about. I did find a place to live, which means that I did get to go back to Guelph to continue my education. Sometimes it seems like the world is conspiring to not get me my undergraduate degree, but if that's so then it's also true that I'm winning this battle of wills, and that's not so bad. When I think about how much my staying here at university is chance, luck, government loans and a totally modest iron will to stay, I get a little worried, and then I get very angry that this country is set up in such a way that I have to worry about being able to stay in school.

But anyway, the important thing is, my greatest and most unforgettable fuck-up has finally been corrected and I have a place to sleep! Not to worry, though, the summer has taught me that I'll never be able to live it down and escape those off-shoulder comments about my irresponsibility, and the cosmos has told that if it had an opinion, it would be that it's not forgetting any time soon because I'm living next to one of the people who put me in this position, besides myself.

I swear, this wasn't meant to be a poor-Ronnie post, that just sort of happened when my fingers hit the keyboard.

Life isn't all bad, though. Orientation Week started up at my school, and my student organization did really well! Lot's of people came to our events, a good number actually seemed interested in getting involved, and overall I'm thinking I might turn out to be a pretty swell prez. I do, however, need to work on my ability to delegate. This summer was crazy and if actual schoolwork is going to happen next week and beyond, I have to start sharing some responsibilities.

Oh yeah, and here's a little shot of what I guess is now a Kratz family tradition, the really early birthday present that I get to hold on to until September 27th. My Mom wrapped it this year. Can you tell? It's bursting with spider power.