Perpockemint

Have you ever noticed that female clothing - pyjamas in particular - never seems to have any pockets? Whereas the male equivalent always has a ridiculous amount of pocket-space. I'm not really going into a big rant about the gender inequality of pyjama pockets here, I'm more just complaining about me not having anywhere to put my half-used tissue in the morning.

It's like whoever made these clothes just assumes that we don't need pockets. That we're never going to throw our cellphones in there, and we're never going to be in the situation where someone gives us something that we really don't want at the moment. At the very least, we'll never be in these situations while in our pyjamas. But the thing is that while in pajamas you're in your pocket-needing prime! It's the time of the day when you're least likely to have a bag or a jacket or something WITH pockets around you.

I have two older brothers, so my whole life I've been getting their old stuff, which of course includes pyjamas, so I can say (at least from my own experience) that I have only very rarely come across a pair of boys pyjama bottoms without pockets. Alternatively, I have only very rarely come across a pair of girls pyjama bottoms with pockets.

Also, pyjamas is spelt with a 'y'. What the fuck.

So I figure there must be some sort of explanation for this. Maybe we're supposed to keep things somewhere other than conveniently placed folds of fabric. My first thought is that we could put stuff in our bras (you know, the way the bad girls do it on tv?). But then that theory's dead because most females don't wear bras with their pyjamas (plus we can't all be bad). I suppose house coats have pockets, but I live in the Caribbean, so fuck anyone who wants me to run around in a fucking house coat all day.

The thing is that even if this problem with pyjamas could be sorted, I keep noticing that more and more of my normal clothes have no pockets in them. Either I'm a very unlucky buyer or there's some kind of pattern here! Even my school uniform has no pockets! School, the number one place for random odds and ends that you don't need right then but will probably need in a second!

I'm a hands-constantly-in-pockets person too, so when I find myself in a situation with no pockets, my hands get confused with the lack of a place to be, and I end up looking like I'm having some sort of fit.

I think the only real solution to this is to ban all non-pocket-having clothing. Really, is it that much of a hassle to throw some pockets in there? What kind of a world is this where you can't even get a pair of pajamas with some decent pockets in them?

(Answer: A world where laundry doers needn't fear the dreaded kleenix bits all over everything.)